Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Christmas cake recipe

Christmas Cake Recipe


* 2 cups flour
* 115 grams of butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 2 bottles wine
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Check the wine. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine. Wipe worktop with cat.

Go to Tecsos for cake!

- Leonie


Jane C said...

Love it, Leonie! Have borrowed it to send to a couple of friends - hope you don't mind!

Jane in Spain

Alison said...

ROFLMAO! Off to find some wine to check! ;o) x

Vee said...

lol you fair cheered my up you did

Wellington said...

Brilliant! I needed cheering up - I'm also wanting to borrow it...sounds just like what happens in this house actually LOL

Dragonlady said...

Sooooooo funny, thank you Leonie.

hugs Ali x

Amanda said...

*lol* this is so much better than my cake recipe!

Soo said...

Ha! I've never liked Christmas cake but I may need to try this recipe out. :)

nikkib said...

Fantastic, put a smile on my face, thanks x

Buzzard Girl said...

This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. It made my mum cry with laughter!

Lilnute said...

HEEHEEEHEEE!!! Thats my kinda cooking, only I don't have a cat to wipe the counter with, would a small child of the male veriety be ok

Love Dawn xx

safety jackets and vests said...

Thanks for the great recipe. Your photos make me want to make some cake right now! Great for joining in with Favorite Thing On A Friday. I always look forward to seeing what you have picked each week.

Tinkerbelle said...

Love it made me laugh out loud.Always new we were on the same wavelength.

Cass said...

Oh just go buy the damn thing...

Sarah said...

Hi Leonie, never commented on your blog before - altho I do pop by on a regular basis. Had to say something for this one tho - it's just brilliant! Made me laugh out loud, I don't normally like Christmas cake - but will try this one for sure!

Also the housework poem was brilliant as well - just what I think. Why do we do it, the house will be as messy in two days time again, so the time would me much better spent making something else!


PS - belated birthday wishes, I hit the same age this year too and am not mentioning it either!

Terrie B x said...

Ha Ha I love it!!!!!
Only trouble is I dont drink Wine..rofl>) xxx

Thank You gifts said...

Loving your recipe especially how thorough you are in checking the quality of the wine! ;)

Shahrukh said...